The washing machine ran exactly twice this week. I noticed because it is the end of September, and two years ago this month it would have run nine times, and I would have been folding towels on the family room couch at 10 at night with a baseball game on for company.
Josh moved out to an apartment near campus full time in August of 2024. That was the real start of the quiet. He came back for holidays and a few weeks after graduation, but this June he started his job in Indianapolis, and now it is clearly, permanently, the two of us and Biscuit in a house built for four.
I have the green notebook and Emily's spreadsheet, so I can actually check what changed instead of guessing. Some of it surprised me.
The grocery bill
In the 12 months before Josh moved out, our grocery spending averaged $960 a month. That included summers with a 20-year-old who could eat a box of cereal before lunch.
In the last 12 months, it averaged $575. That is $385 a month less, about $4,600 a year.
I would love to say that was all smart planning. Some of it was. I shop Aldi for staples and Kroger for the rest, I cook in batches and freeze half, and we stopped buying snacks nobody eats. But most of it is just simple. Two people eat less than three, and a lot less than three when one of them was Josh.
The laundry and the house
Nine loads a week down to two or three. Our water and sewer bill went from about $78 a month to $52. The gas for the dryer and the water heater dropped too, though it is harder to separate from the furnace.
The house is cleaner, which I expected. It is also emptier, which I expected less. Two bedrooms upstairs sat closed for a long time. This spring Emily's room became my sewing room and guest room, for $340. Josh's room is a plain guest room now. The family room downstairs, which used to hold a gaming system and a couch shaped like a teenager, is mostly where Greg watches the Reds.
We spent most of August and part of September asking whether we even need this much house. We had two realtors walk through. Both said we could sell well, and both showed us what we would pay for a smaller ranch in our area. The difference after closing costs, moving and the higher property tax on a newer house was not what I had imagined. We decided to stay, for now, and change the house to fit us instead. A grab bar here, a better light there, the bedroom on the same floor as the kitchen someday if we need it. I will write that up separately.
The arguments
I wish I could say we stopped arguing. We just argue about different things.
Two years ago the arguments were about the kids: curfews, the car, whether Josh should take the co-op in Cleveland. Now they are about the thermostat (we settled on 75 in summer, and I still think 77 is fine), whether the 1990s chest freezer was worth replacing (it was using about $9 a month in electricity, so yes, and I was right), and whether Greg really needs a new grill. He does not. He has one.
Mostly, though, we argue less. There is more room for it to not matter.
The noise
This is the part I cannot put a number on. The house is quiet in the evenings in a way it never was. Some nights that is lovely. Some nights I put the radio on just to have a voice in the kitchen. Both of those are still true two years in.
What else moved
The quiet came with a lot of other changes we had to make on purpose. A short list:
- The mortgage ended in March. The old $893 payment now goes $500 to savings and $393 to Greg's IRA and the roof fund.
- Josh came off our car insurance in August, about $410 a year less.
- Our phone plan dropped from $140 to $70 a month for the two lines we still need.
- Cable went in November, from $189 to $74 for internet and one streaming service.
- We switched home and auto insurance last October, from $3,140 to $2,520 a year.
Not all of that is because the kids left. Some of it is because I left my job and finally had time to read the bills. But the kids leaving is what made me look.
Greg read this over my shoulder and said, "You forgot the most important change." I asked what. "Nobody eats my leftovers." He is right. That one is worth about $40 a week to him, and he is not sharing.
